Friends With Benefits

Good relationships, good friendships, don’t happen by accident. They require a certain amount of work. They require trust, respect, openness, listening, love, and sacrifice. David taught us the “T.R.O.L.L.S.” of friendship during the growth class. Sadly I have come across some with a theory that they prefer to only “do life” with those who benefit them in some way. Whether it be for networking, someone who makes you feel good about yourself, someone who always takes you out to have a good time, someone who tends to pick up the tab more often then not… ect…

Without a doubt, by human nature we all seem to stick closer to those who benefit us in some way. But how often do we stop to think, how is it we are benefiting those around us? How did I lift their spirits today? How did I make their life easier for them? How did I show them how valuable they are?

During Wednesday’s Simply Worship, Pastor Troy talked about internal vs. external sin. When did we get so caught up in diagnosing everyone else’s external sins and our own, and trying to fix them, that internal sin became ok and overlooked? Sin is sin in God’s eyes correct? So while we are focusing on the physical, people’s emotional state of mind are forgotten about and it needs to be brought back into the foreground. Pride and arrogance, selfishness, lust, depression, anger, bitterness… It breaks my heart to hear or see a friend think that if they have to make a sacrifice for someone, it means too much work, not worth their time, and they brush that person off in a time of need. To see a Godly couple or friendship taken over by the enemy and ripped apart by jealousy, insecurity, or passiveness. A lack of ambition to fight. To see so many go through life, showing no love for others but expecting to have a love for Christ? Does that work? Are you capable of truly loving the Father and showing respect and sacrifice for Him if you cannot for those you do life with? John 15:12 says “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”

I believe if you have love and respect for someone, the openness, listening, trust, and sacrifice come along with it. Of course you can consciously do these things too, without the love. The relationships you have, do you keep them because they benefit you, or because you benefit each other and you honestly love that person and want to benefit them back? The Lord knows what’s in your heart and only He can judge you.

So my final question is this, is it ok to go through life without real loving relationships?

Maybe it’s time for us to re-evaluate our own hearts and start opening ourselves up to loving each other a little more.